|Far more dangerous than a band of marauding bandits.|
Regardless, Eastwood, bad ass that he is, quickly sprang into action, screaming "GET OFF MY LAWN" and charging the wayward pasteurized milk with a loaded M1 Garand. The normally confident Camembert was reduced to a quivering mass of Provolone and swiftly burst forth from John's clogged airway. Never one to back down, Eastwood pulled out his six shooter, loosing a tantalizing, "Go ahead, make my day!" before swiftly making the ill-fated cheese Swiss.
|You would have gotten out of there too.|
This is just more proof that Clint Eastwood remains one of the most bad-ass people to ever walk the face of the earth. At a point in life when most are content to indulge in shuffleboard and tapioca pudding Eastwood is indulging in lifting 205 pound men and (most likely) consuming raw steaks.
While Arnold Schwarzenegger was busy putting on a wig and short shorts for a Bud Light commercial, Eastwood managed to save John's life, single-handedly prepared Sochi for the Winter Olympics and turn his glower into a form of renewable energy, thus solving climate change and making the nation energy independent simultaneously.
|Pregnant women should not make eye contact with Eastwood.|
Harrison Ford could not be reached for comment.