Thursday, May 31, 2012

Moonrise Kingdom Breaks Records

Setting a new record gross for limited release openings, Wes Anderson's newest feature 'Moonrise Kingdom' looks to be the under-the-wire-but-not-so-under-the-wire film to see this summer. 

Through a friend of a friend in the know, I snagged a couple of promo tickets to a screening in Cambridge tonight. Hopes are high.  The cast is stacked with stars, Bill Murray, Ed Norton, Bruce Willis, Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand and Jason Schwartzman and I'm an absolute sucker for a Wes Anderson creation. The Life Aquatic and Rushmore turned me into a diehard Andersonian and from what I hear 'Moonrise Kingdom' is not going to disappoint. Keep an eye out for this one. 'Moonrise Kingdom' opens in Boston this weekend, playing at Coolidge Corner, Brattle and Kendall Square Theaters.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

What the F@#k is Fennel? At Cutty's Brookline

This weekend I took a little stroll up Harvard Ave and ended up at Cutty's sandwich shop on Washington st. in Brookline. Tucked away about half a block up on the left from where Washington and Harvard split, I'd heard that this place has some of the best sandwiches in town and I wasn't disappointed.  Recognized by the Phantom Gourmet and winner of Best of Boston's: Best Sandwich Shop 2011 and Zagat's top 5 Best New Restaurants in Boston, Cutty's just hosted the Food network's own Guy Fieri for an upcoming episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.  For a gourmet sandwich under $10 with that much noise behind it, Cutty's was worth the walk from dirty ole Allston.

The menu has all sorts of tasty options (Roast beef, salami, capicola, mortadella, ham, egg salad) but I went with one of the Saturday only sandoozlers, the Pork Fennel on a seasame hardroll with roasted garlic. 

Fresh-ass pork and whatever the flip fennel is 
The Sandwich: I didn't know what fennel was before, still don't know now but pickle it and slice it like Cutty's did and I won't ask too many questions.  Whatever it is, the fennel brought a crispy sweet tang that went well with the tender pork and the roast garlic spread.  The sesame roll was a little tough for my taste, which is one of the reason's I'll be trying the Roast Beef 1000(Slow-roasted beef, shallots, thousand island, sharp cheddar and brioche) the next time I make the trip, but overall a totally welcome, surprising and delicious adventure to one of Boston's hidden little gems.

BONUS: Check this thing out
Saw this while I was chowing down and was blown away by how far toddler skateboarding technology has come.  
"Come at me bro"

Birthday Shout-Outs

Congratulations to everyone for making it 150 days into 2012, and a special congratulations to everyone who celebrates their birthday 150 days into the year.

Steven Gerrard
Clint Bowyer
Cee-Lo Green
Manny Ramirez
Billy Donovan
Tom Morello
Wynonna Judd
Jake "The Snake" Roberts
King Amadeo I of Spain
Emperor Renzong of China

Kings vs Devils - NHL 12

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup starts tonight at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. I have a plate of crab rangoon riding on the Devils in the series. Not that I necessarily want them, but I will never back down from a bet of goons.

 This simulation done by G4 TV on NHL 12 shows that the Los Angeles Kings will take the series four game to the New Jersey Devils' two. Doubtful, if you ask me. I know many people may not care about the NHL as it is, but this series is going to be one of the more interesting match-ups. 

Last year, the Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks collided for an epic series, but this year has already been stuffed to the rafters with good hockey and that promises to continue.  Both goaltenders, Jonathan Quick and Martin Brodeur, have been absolutely stellar thus far.  This has been a post-season in which 3 goals seems like it will win the game, and with Quick carrying a 1.54 GAA versus Brodeur's 2.04, that seems like it should be the case.

Will the offenses be ready for this match-up?  Both teams are strong defensively, and play with speed to make the best of their scoring chances.  I think the Devils will win this one in six games.  A few skirmishes may break out early in the series, but I think cooler heads will prevail and this brand of hockey will be pretty damn exciting.

Good Idea? @Shophouse10

 So a few guys and myself have been kicking around this question for a few days: If you were going out for beers, which three Red Sox players would you want with you?

Right off the bat, we can rule out Josh Beckett and Kevin Youkilis.  They wouldn't even give us the time of day and probably wouldn't be that much fun to hang out with anyway.  Pitchers are risky business, especially with Alfredo Aceves and Vicente Padilla, who would probably sit in the corner throwing back tequila.  An ideal mix for the Sox would be one catcher, one infielder and one outfielder.

Catcher is your toughest call, as Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Kelly Shoppach are two shoe-ins in anybody's circle, if you ask me.  Infielder, a little bit easier as I'd narrow it down to Nick Punto or Will Middlebrooks.  And outfield is either Daniel Nava or Cody Ross.  Maybe Ryan Sweeney, but I don't know what the concussion drinking policy is...

My ideal three? Kelly Shoppach, Nick Punto and Daniel Nava.  Punto is a family man, but with a nickname like Shredder, I'm sure he can throw a few back.  Nava gets the nod over Ross only because Ross has a foot injury right now, and I don't want to be responsible if things get out of hand.

Shoppach gets the call-up for a number of reasons, including his Twitter handle.  @Shophouse10.  Classic name, plus, every day during homestands, we will be tweeting at him, inviting him for a round of PBR's on the crew.  Updates to follow...

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Answers: How Old is Too Old to Wear a Jersey to a Game?

Its Saturday night at Fenway Park, one night after the Red Sox and Rays both cleared their benches in the ninth inning when Franklin Morales beaned Luke Scott.  The gates are open and the fans are piling in, creating a sea of red, grey and blue player t-shirts and jerseys.

Working at the EMC level entrance of Fenway Park, there are a lot of characters who come by with all sorts of questions about my job, the park, their seats and when Wally will be swinging by.  Last night, Gordon Edes, Red Sox reporter for, came up to me and asked a different question:

"Do you think there should be a statute of limitation for how old you can be to wear a current player's jersey to a game?"

Now, a lot of factors are poured into this question: age, gender, which player and even ethnic background.  I did some research, asked around and the results ranged clear across the board.  With this in mind, we'll see if a decision can even be reached.

For a college kid or someone just out of school, wearing a player t-shirt generally comes as naturally as breathing.  But then the example of Bruins forward Tyler Seguin came up.  For anyone under the age of twenty-five, I will outright say: No jerseys of players who are younger than you.

For the dads and the older crowd wearing player t-shirts, this is where it gets the most tricky.  I personally think that if you're a fan of the team and a fan of the player, then why not rock their name across your back?  Nothing wrong with showing a little love for the hometown boys, right?  But for the monkey wrench in the argument, a colleague of mine, Josh, said that his jersey wearing days are over, because he has passed the torch onto his kids.

Should this be the norm?  Should there come a day when the jerseys go back into the closet until they become hand-me-downs for the next generation of fans?  When you think about, that just sounds downright sad (says the twenty-two year old.)  Who knows, maybe being able to pass the torch onto your children, passing down those jerseys is even more rewarding than showing the support on your own back.

These arguments have been centered around men wearing jerseys, but just as many women show their support with jerseys as well.  Is there a limit for women?  I would say there is no limit, but to the pink hat fans who just wear a Jacoby Ellsbury jersey because he's attractive: that's a no-go.

The player makes a huge difference in all of this, as well.  I mentioned ethnic background earlier for this reason.  Let's say a Japanese family is attending a game, and they are all wearing Daisuke Matsuzaka jerseys.  There are only 16 Japanese players in the entire MLB, and I'm all for someone taking pride in a player from their home country, pile it on.

You have to think about people's motives behind why they are wearing the shirt.  Are they wearing it in pure support, to show they are a fan?  Or are they wearing it, trying to relive their glory days and still wishing they had the glove of Dustin Pedroia or the bat of David Ortiz?  Does it come naturally, or do they feel like they have something to prove?

It comes down to this.  If you're a fan of the team, you want to show your support any way you can.  Truth be told, the cheapest way to sport the shirt of your hometown team is to buy a player tee.  But should there be a theoretical limit as to how old you can be to wear a jersey of someone born in the late 1980s?

Answer: Yes, but with several exceptions.

Bob Saget: The Triple Threat

Normally, an article having anything to do with Bob Saget would be laced with curse words and highly offensive material.  This time around, Saget put that on the back burner to show off another one of his talents.

Despite being a native of Philadelphia, Saget is a White Sox fan, and was in the South Side to sing the National Anthem at U.S. Cellular Field.  How did it go?  See for yourself, but if you ask me, that was pretty impressive.

Everybody in Stank Butt Jeans


This video is nonsense.

Here's a rundown of the first 30 seconds.  In a crazy Hellraiser spacestation, a beat sounding like a mad scientist at a keyboard lays in and Method Man explodes out of a metal egg. One rap-video girl loses all of her shit in the rafters. Meth waddles around, spitting all over his verse.  Then it gets weird.

I miss this era of hip-hop.  Fun, campy, yet heavy at the same time. Nowadays Drake's got feelings, Lil Wayne has too much access to cough syrup and nobody knows who Kendrick Lamar is. Also where has the term 'stank butt' been?  From now on, everything I do is going to be stank butt.  See me on Memorial Day, I'm eating stank butt burgers. Going to work on Tuesday, I'll be riding the stank butt bus. Can't get enough.
Stank Butt

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Breaking News: Red Sox (Not Rays) Are Cowards

"I'll start hitting home runs.  I'll hit one tomorrow." - Adrian Gonzalez

And that's where it all began.  Last week, when the Red Sox were in Tampa for a series against the Rays, Gonzalez had a rough day at the plate in the penultimate game of the series.  He went 0-for-4 with 2 strikeouts, but kept a level head at the plate and instead took his frustrations out with the media instead of the umpire.

Rays starter David Price was one of the first to speak out on Gonzalez's comments, albeit a retweet.

 Moore made good on the suggestion, hitting Gonzalez in the hip in his first at-bat.  Not to be outdone, Felix Doubront planted one on Luke Scott, and both sides were even.  Well, at least until Friday night at Fenway.

In the sixth inning, Rays reliever Burke Badenhop drilled Dustin Pedroia in the back on a 2-0 count.  (We'll get back to this point later...) And in the ninth inning, already down 7-4, Sox reliever Franklin Morales attempted to hit Scott three times before landing one on his knee.

You can check out the scuffle in the video above, but as far as after the game goes, here's what Rays manager Joe Maddon had to say:

“I’m kind of curious regarding who put out the hit, because I know it wasn’t one of their players,” he said. “Truly, watch the video. The people that were incensed, obviously they’re the ones that were probably behind the effort, the really weak, cowardly effort on their part. Did I say that strongly enough? Did I make my point?”

Maddon, are you forgetting who started all of this?  Matt Moore, already seeing his season in shambles decided to take matters into his own hands and plunk Gonzalez to start all of this.  And the Red Sox are the ones who are weak and cowardly?  Give me a break.  It was the Rays who decided to start all of this garbage, and if you want to see someone who's acting cowardly, then look right at BJ Upton, who decided to start barking at a fan when he was exiting the field Friday night.  That's just embarrassing.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Duck Dynasty = Amazing

I don't know what's taken me so long to write this promo post, but I figure now that the season's over, everyone can take their time catching up on the greatest TV series to hit planet earth since.... well, Planet Earth, really.

Duck Dynasty, Wednesdays at 10pm on A&E follows the Robertson family: father Phil and Mother 'Miss Kay' Robertson started the "duck call" empire known as Duck Commander and Phil has left it to his sons Willie and Jase.  Willie is the CEO, and Jase runs production as well as research and development.  Just when you think there's going to be a dull moment, in comes Phil's brother, Si, a wily Vietnam veteran who carries around his teal plastic cup of iced tea, and has been carrying it since basic training.

Several other characters play a role in the show including Willie's wife Korie and their children, or several other Duck Commander employees like Godwin or the lesser known Robertson brother, Jep.

The gang gets into all sorts of shenanigans throughout the 15 episodes, and each one is better than the last.  The show can feel a little bit staged at times, but the lines that some of them come up with are priceless, and will have you quoting them subconsciously in your daily life.

Exploding Head Syndrome


Hey y'all, my name's Ryan and I'm gonna be adding to the blog from now on.  I can't throw down a big post right now but for those that keep up with this deal I'll be writing about things that get me fired up.

Things that get me fired up
Batman and Robocop
Coleslaw in sandwiches
Boston Life 
So strap in and keep an eye out for new stuff.

PS - Because posting funny videos is really easy...Troy and Abed in the morrrrning.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Celtics-Sixers Headed to Game 7

Ryan Hollins sucks.  Brandon Bass is an upgrade from Big Baby Glen Davis, but won't be scoring 27 points again in the playoffs.

I'll be the first one to tell you, I don't know much about the NBA.  I went to my first Celtics game in January, and watched them pull one out against the Pacers, and have followed them a little bit closer this postseason once the Bruins got knocked out in the first round.  But they need to play a lot more disciplined style in order to move on.

But, Game 7 is at the Garden, where the C's dominated in Game 5.  After the Pacers' performance in their Game 5, the Heat should easily move on, and if the Celtics should meet them in the Eastern Finals, I got my money on the Celtics.

Bear and the Gang: A Proper Intro

So looking back at the last post, I realize that it was a little slapdash on my part. I haven't written a Bruins post in a while, and I figured, what better way to get people thinking about the Bruins in a positive light than to give them another venue to watch Bear and the Gang?

Bear and the Gang started in late March, during the regular season, with an extended retro-sitcom-esque introduction featuring several Bruins players, National Anthem singer Rene Rancourt, NESN announcer Jack Edwards Claude Julien and of course, The Bear.

 Sit back, relax and enjoy the intro, and log onto bostonbruinsTV for more from the B's this off-season.

Bear and the Gang: Date Night

Bear and the Gang is probably the greatest thing that the Boston Bruins have done since their championship run last year. A close third being resigning Adam McQuaid.

In episode two, we find Bear having a date night with one lucky ice girl. As things start to get intimate, Claude Julien interrupts with his unique style of awkward humor that can only be brought to you by sports icons. I'm not entirely sure who writes these things, but if anyone can find that out, it'd be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Anchorman 2 Trailer - Check

Will Ferrell has always been hit or miss with me.  Hits: Stranger Than Fiction, Elf, Kicking & Screaming.  Miss: Old School, Semi-Pro, (sorry, but...) and Talladega Nights.  Huge Hit: Anchorman.

This trailer doesn't give you much, but you know its going to be more of the same as the first one, which is plenty enough for me.  Sixty percent of the time, this movie will be good every time.

New Red Sox Memorial Day / 4th of July / 9-11 Hats

Since they started the 'Stars and Stripes' hats on Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and September 11th in 2008, two hats have been awesome, and one tolerable.  This hat is one of the awesome ones.

For the past two years, MLB has been making a large portion of the hat white, and its pretty much an unwritten rule in baseball that white hats are always a bad idea.  The first year, the hat was similar to this design for the Red Sox, with the navy blue, but instead of camoflauge in the 'B', there were stars and stripes.

For every hat sold, 100 percent of the proceeds will go directly to the Welcome Back Veterans Fund.  I'll be picking one up Wednesday afternoon so I can wear it when its not raining.

Why the Sox Should Get Rid of Kevin Youkilis

Photo: The Slanch Report

Kevin Youkilis has only played in less than half of the Red Sox games this season.  He hasn't had more than 491 at-bats since the 2008 season.  With players like Will Middlebrooks making a huge splash already and (as much as I don't want to say it...) Nick Punto already on the bench, I think the Sox could do without Youk.

On Monday night, the Sox got themselves back to .500 baseball against the division-leading Baltimore Orioles, and on Tuesday, Youkilis is scheduled to come off the disabled list and rejoin the team at Camden Yards.  There's talk of Middlebrooks staying even with Youk back because of the injuries to Cody Ross and Ryan Sweeney (with Sweeney being the only one on the DL as of now), but here's why Middlebrooks staying shouldn't even be a question.

Two years ago, Jacoby Ellsbury went down with a rib injury, thanks to Adrian Beltre's clydesdale-like frame, and spent time away from the team in Arizona rehabbing for most of the season. Youkilis has had a few injuries over the past two seasons, and rather than focus on getting better, he has taken some of that time to blast Ellsbury for time the centerfielder spent away from the team.

Playing in the same about of games (18), the stats looks like this:

Youkilis:               14 H, 2 HR, 9 RBI, 14 R
Middlebrooks:   22 H, 5 HR, 16 RBI, 12 R

As for the argument that Middlebrooks isn't ready to be an everyday player?  Platoon him with Punto, problem solved.  Youkilis could help almost any team in the majors, and has decent trade value.  The Sox have a bunch of young players producing already this year, so if they could cash in on Youkilis for a few more, I'd say its now or never.

Walk-Up Songs at Fenway

 I stumbled across this article this morning, and while there's nothing I can add to it, I thought it would be a good reference for anyone who is wondering about what songs Red Sox players come out to, both batters and pitchers.  Thank you to and Jenny Dell for the lists.

Hitters' At-Bat Music 
Mike Aviles: "Rocketeer," Far East Movement
Marlon Byrd: "Work," Gang Starr; "Get Like Me," David Banner; “I’m The Sh*t," Meek Mill
Carl Crawford: "Balling," Young Jeezy
Jacoby Ellsbury: "Let It Rock," Kevin Rudolph; "Hustle Hard (Remix)," Ace Hood
Adrian Gonzalez:"Levantate/Get Up," Pitbull; "Bon, Bon," Pitbull
Darnell McDonald: "Public Service Announcement," Jay-Z, "Leanin'," Stuey Rock
Will Middlebrooks: "Texas Flood," Stevie Ray Vaughn; "Levels (Skrillex Remix)," Avicii
Daniel Nava: "Dream," Lecrae
David Ortiz: "King Of Diamonds," Rick Ross; "Schemin'," Rick Ross
Dustin Pedroia: "Gettin' It," Too $hort
Nick Punto: "Mother," Danzig
Cody Ross: "Livin' On A Prayer," Bon Jovi; "Who Am I? (What's My Name)," Snoop Dogg
Jarrod Saltalamacchia: "Rock Me Amadeus," Falco
Kelly Shoppach: "Kick It In The Sticks," Brantley Gilbert
Ryan Sweeney: "Good Good Night," Roscoe Dash; "The Motto," Drake
Kevin Youkilis: "Just A Friend," Biz Markie; "Till I Collapse," Eminem

Pitchers' Entrance Music 
Alfredo Aceves: "Iberia Sumergida," Héroes Del Silencio
Matt Albers: "Sleep Now In The Fire," Rage Against The Machine
Scott Atchison: "Heartland," George Strait
Daniel Bard: "Slow Ride," Foghat
Josh Beckett: "My Kinda Party," Jason Aldean
Clay Buchholz: "Buckaroo Man," Dave Stamey
Aaron Cook: "Hit The Floor," Linkin Park
Felix Doubront: "Contéstame El Teléfono," Alexis Y Fido
Rich Hill: “First of the Year,” Skrillex
Jon Lester: "I Use What I Got," Jason Aldean
Franklin Morales: "Fever," Wisin Y Yandel
Vicente Padilla: "La Despedida (Remix)," Daddy Yankee featuring Tony Dize

Monday, May 21, 2012

When the Bullpen Mafia Speaks, You Listen


The Cleveland Indians aren't messing around this season.  There's no Ricky Vaughn, Willie Mays Hayes or Pedro Cerrano.  Instead, there's Derek Lowe, Carlos Santana, Travis Hafner and Chris Perez.

The Tribe has come out of the gates with a 23-19, two and a half games in the lead for the AL Central division.  While its not a staggering lead this early in the season, the Indians have been playing good baseball.  The Tigers, with arguably the scariest line-up in the American League, are sitting in third place.  So with the standings the way they are, what's getting under the skin of the closer, Chris Perez?

"I'm not stupid, I understand the economy's bad around here. I understand that people can't afford to come to the game," Perez said Sunday. "But there doesn't need to be the negativity. I don't understand the negativity, why? Like, enjoy what we have. You have a first place team. How many third-place towns in the country would want that right now?"

The Indians have an 11-12 record at home, the only division-leading team to have a losing record in their respective ballpark.  Perez pointed out that its because the fans aren't giving them any sort of home-field advantage.

"It's just a slap in the face when you're last in attendance. Last. It's not like we're 25th or 26th. We're last. Oakland's outdrawing us. That's embarrassing."

Can't argue with that, it is embarrassing.  The Tribe open up a series with Detroit on Monday, a series that will surely draw a few more fans, but whether or not they'll be wearing the Cleveland colors could be a different story.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sox Reinforcements?

The Sox pulled their best Adele impression on two consecutive days to beat the Mariners and the rain for their fourth and fifth straight wins.  Working at Fenway Park, you see and hear some weird stuff.  Today was one of the most interesting I've heard in a long while about the team.

"Nobody has reinforcements coming like we do."

A few regulars were talking baseball around the EMC Club, talking about how the team was really heating up, things were starting to turn around.  I mean, they're not wrong.  Jon Lester and Josh Beckett have shut everybody up in their last two outings (now, who knows what's in store next time out...), and the offense has found its stroke of late.  But back to that quote -- who are we talking about?

Jacoby Ellsbury was recently placed on the 60-day DL, meaning he won't be back til at least mid-June, if before the All-Star break at all.  Kevin Youkilis is no surprise to see on the DL, and will be starting a rehab stint today, Wednesday in Pawtucket... Cwhere he belongs.  Andrew Bailey won't be back til the back half of the season with a pitching thumb injury, hopefully replacing Alfredo Aceves, who, to his credit, has stopped giving Boston fans nightmares when he steps on the mound this season.

Carl Crawford is making his case better and better by the day for "Worst Free Agent Signing in History," although he has been at Fenway lately shagging flies and taking BP.  Bobby Jenks crashed into a car and drove away from a strip club named "Babes."  I'm all set with that one.

Darnell "Put The Team On My Back" McDonald will be back soon after a right oblique strain, adding to an already insanely good outfield.  And Daisuke Matsuzaka seems to be on the fast-track back, who honestly, I would welcome into the rotation.  So of those names, who do we want to see back?

I have finally bought a ticket on the Ellsbury train this season, picking him up on my fantasy team, and no longer ragging on him for dodging his team during his injury time two years ago.  The outfield with Ellsbury, Sweeney, Ross and Nava would be unstoppable (sorry, Darnell).  Bailey out of the bullpen would be awesome, since our regular bullpen guys pitch every single day, it seems.

I can do without Youkilis, without Jenks and even without Crawford at this point.  Selling high is out of the question, but let's at least get someone other than Marlon Byrd or Scott Podsednik, please?

Monday, May 14, 2012

Ripley's Believe It Or Not: Sox Win Three in a Row

Its not whether you win or lose, its how you play the game, right?  Completely wrong.  The Red Sox have a $171 million payroll, so if they're not winning, no one's going to even watch them play the game.

Boston currently sits at 15-19, six and a half games behind the AL East leading Baltimore Orioles.  Now the O's are a completely different story here, so we'll put that on the back burner for now.  Let's start the the positives, though.

1.) The Sox are better than the Twins, Royals and Angels, Cubs, Rockies and Padres. What does that say?  Not much, but at least we have something to hang our hats on.

2.)  They're finally .500 at home.  Home field advantage has been non-existent for them this season, between the fans booing Bobby Valentine and Josh Beckett and leaving in the 5th inning when the Sox are getting crushed, there hasn't been a whole lot to cheer about.  During these past three games, however, fans have stayed put, singing Sweet Caroline louder than ever and getting rowdy right until Dirty Water.

3.)  The Farm boys.  Daniel Nava and Will Middlebrooks.  The two have come up and totally caught fire the past week, totaling 13 runs on 19 hits, including four home runs and 17 RBI, averaging over .450 at the dish.

I was going to start talking about the negatives, but I'll let this one stand alone for now.  Let's just let this post be positive and see how it's received.

Birthday Shout-Outs

Today may be one of the best birthday shout-out days we've had in blogging history, so without further ado...

Miranda Cosgrove
Mark Zuckerberg
Frank Gore
Eddie House
Roy Halladay
Cate Blanchett
Tony Siragusa
The douche who coaches the Canucks
Tim Roth
Ronan Tynan
Norodom Sihamoni - King of Cambodia
Robert Zemeckis
George Lucas

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Answers: Sweet Caroline

New installment for the blog; I'll be trying to make this a weekly thing, it may turn in to biweekly, but that remains to be seen.  So what will happen is I will take something popular, maybe something trending, and reveal the truth about said phenomenon.  Today's phenomenon comes with a grain of salt.  I can't believe I have to write this, but its become too big to ignore.

You're in Fenway Park, America's most beloved ballpark, and the Red Sox are losing by 8 runs in the middle of the game.  You could leave early, beat some traffic on the way out, sure.  Or, you could forgo caring about the game and just stay til the middle of the 8th inning to hear "Sweet Caroline" come on!

Don't worry, if you don't know the lyrics, they're on the smaller scoreboard out in right field.  And if you even glance out there once, then its clear this article is directed at you.

Touchin' hands.
Reachin' out,
Touchin' me,
Touchin' youuuuu..."

Everyone's with me so far?

"Sweet Caroline..."

Now what?  Answer: "BAH BAH BAH"

Where have people gotten this idea that the horns suddenly changed their noise to "OH OH OH"?  If you listen closely, you'll hear any number of idiots doing it, because clearly they don't belong in Fenway Park.  Take the video at the top -- those guys are hammered and still singing every word right.  So next time you're at Fenway belting our "Sweet Caroline" and you hear some chumps around you say "OH OH OH," kindly escort them out of the park with a swift kick in the ass.

I Can Explain...

Hey everybody, I'm sorry its been almost a week since I last posted, but I had to trudge my way through finals and squaring away everything for Senior Week at Emmanuel.  Three If By Strike hasn't just been on autopilot all week, though, and I got some pretty good material coming your way.  For now, I'll leave you with this video for you viewing pleasure.

Absolutely amazing.  From her name down to her assumption that nobody has time for bronchitis.  Welcome back, everybody.