Friday, January 24, 2014

The Free Lunch Hierarchy

Everyone loves free lunch during the work week, right?  But does everyone love all types of free lunches equally?  You may think you do, but let's take a look at the Top 5 Free Lunches.

5) Break Room Free Lunch - This is not much of a lunch at all.  This is what happens when you either forget the lunch you usually bring, are too lazy to leave the office or just don't have the money to go out and buy something. You end up rummaging around the break room and the fridge, digging up a can of soda and a stale bagel. You might even find yourself uttering the phrase, "what am I doing with my life?" This my friends, is indeed a free lunch, but very obviously the worst kind of free lunch.

4) Free Lunch Ordered to the Office - Now, I know what you're thinking: "how could this possibly be a bad thing?" Well, boys and girls, while this free lunch seems great, it comes with a lot of questions. What's the policy on seconds? Who do I have to thank? When do I have to thank them? Because I don't want to get beat to the punch, then I'll look like I'm just saying thank you because that guy did it....

And it doesn't end there. You don't want to be the guy who holds up the line or takes too much of one thing, so while you rush through the spread, you completely forget probably the most important part: "Where am I going to sit?" At my desk? Try to find a small pocket of people and awkwardly slide into their conversation? While vastly better than number five, there is too much going on for this lunch to move past number four.

3) Free Lunch with a Client - This lunch covers basically any time you are out to eat with someone you work with, but outside of your office. You might know them, you might not, but either way, lunch has to come second in this scenario. Not a great impression of you or your company if you're stuffing your face with fries and downing Cokes while the guy tries to talk business. On the flip side, its a good time to try to work in some non-work conversation and maybe mix a beer or two in. Because it can go either way, this lunch stays locked at number three.

2) Free Lunch with your Boss - This lunch is easily the most subjective of the bunch.  You could love your boss, or you could always keep a sandwich in your top drawer just in case they walks by around noon.  But lunch with your boss generally means you've made least for that particular day.  Some lunches will be better than others, but if you ask me (which you pretty much are by reading this far), this has to be the second-to-one lunch out there.  The guy who pays you with money is now paying you extra...with food. No brainer.

1) Lunch with a Friend...And They're Paying - Its no surprise that the number one free lunch has nothing at all to do with work, with a very minimal chance of work even being brought up other than to complain about it. Lunch with a friend is a great way to unwind for an hour and almost definitely throw back a couple beers (as opposed to the uncertainty of Free Lunch #3).  The biggest and really only problem with this lunch?  You're paying the next time.

1 comment:

  1. Convention lunch... Your at a trade show or such. Your definitely hung over cause you need to get hammered if your staying in a hotel. You have been falling asleep in your seminar or booth all morning. You have cotton mouth and you slept through the breakfast. The seminar has gone 10 min over and you are ravenous. Finally it ends. You speed walk to the banquet area where either the lunch is family style or banquet style... AND YOU EAT EVERYTHING. 2 of the 8 pieces of chicken parm for your full 8 person table. Drinking out of the pitcher of water. There are no rules. This lunch is about survival... This is either the best or the worst lunch on this list.